Steps to reading and watching Twilight

1. Ignore all books that are ridiculously descended upon by teenagers everywhere, including the Harry Potter and Twilight series.
2. Go to dinner at your husband's relatives house and have the first two Twilight books forced into your hands.
3. Finish both books within the space of a week, whilst maintaining a full-time job, an apartment, and a husband.
4. Get your hands on the second two books as soon as possible and blow right on through them.
5. Stifle your excitement that you don't have to wait long for the movie to come out.
6. When your Saturday night plans fall through, beg your husband to go with you to the movie.
7. Bounce around the apartment like a child when your husband laughingly agrees.
8. When seated at the theater, eye the teenage girls surrounding you warily.
9. Snort with mirth when the girls squeal in glee when Edward first appears on the screen.
10. Groan in exasperation as the girls continuously and increasingly loudly laugh and squeal.
11. Curb your own enthusiasm at some points during the movie.
12. While appreciating that your husband is a good sport, sigh inwardly as he remarks periodically, "This is such a chick flick." "What a girly movie."
13. Hope that when you go to the movie again on Wednesday with your husband's cousins, there are less teenage girls and more silence.
14. Vow that when the second Twilight movie comes out, you will go to a Sunday matinee, where moviegoers are usually sparse.