I should be sleeping

I'm really frustrated about my weight. I want to lose weight so bad, and then some days I don't give a rat's ass. And my cravings for candy and Dr. Pepper are coming more and more frequently, to the point where sometimes if I don't give in I think I'll go crazy. I really want to have the body I used to (except with bigger boobs). I don't know why it takes such a giant amount of effort to lose weight for me. When I stick to my diet, I am pretty much STARVING all day long. Now I look down at my belly, slightly distended with DP and tootsie rolls. Sigh. Why can't I be 16 again, when I couldn't gain weight if I tried? Not that I'm in any way fat, but I want to wear a bikini without hugging myself self-consciously. GRRRRR.

And while I'm bitching, why do college professors assign so much homework? I swear they're all competing to see who can make me melt down first. Must I really do a presentation on the rhetoric of Quammen's essay and write a paper about the oil techniques used by da Vinci in such-and-such painting? Geez.

I could bitch more, but I have two good things going on: Sky and my family. Sky is my rock. I miss him on the days I don't see him. I just love him more than anything. I love doing nothing with him. And my family rocks my socks. Scout's two bottom teeth jutting out as she grins is the best ever. I don't think there's a fatter, cuter baby on the planet. I freaking love my family, and I freaking love Sky.